Gotta Have Faith

(The everlasting reminder of "Gotta Have Faith" by Sarah Espeonite)

The great journey. Living of, my continuous life. Your continuous life. The understanding of where our faith is in our soulful make up, to access it when we need it the most, so it can lead us where God wants us to be. When I began songwriting years ago about many of my personal experiences, I always had the spirit speak to me with the title of, "Gotta Have Faith". 

Musically, I could hear the melody that was to-be recorded later on and I even had back in high school these little melodic riffs that would collect in the rhythms of my hands on the piano telling me I had to have faith. Whether I sat down on the piano bench from a long and glorious day at school, or a family frustrated moment in my room that needed to relieve itself with inspiration, the message was always there. 

There was a time where I can pin point my heart sinking and the Holy Spirit first took over. It was at the beginning of my youthful creative and risk-taking career when I once was told by a talent agent back when I was 19, that I was too old to into the fine arts industry. Whether it was for acting, singing, dancing, you name it and I couldn't have felt the blows any worse. I was upset with how late I got exposed to my talents so late in life, that I was full of resentment and doubt that I could ever help others or myself, in this matter, with my music. Little did I know that God had already mapped me out for a more fulfilling life ahead. 

Many of the words I would tell myself, my "I" if you will, would be speaking about my own doubts, my fears, my weaknesses and then I could not release myself until I gave myself time. Time to shut out the negative. Time to ask for help from our Heavenly Father. Time to just surrender and pray. Sometimes those moments of giving up were just at the edge of my tongue and I'd feel like I wanted to give up. I forgot about my reason of why, forgetting my passionate energies and how letting go could be the only option left. If it's not everyday that I have experienced that feeling with my musical talents at those moments, "At times I feel I'm no where near enough, at times I feel so unprepared, at times I feel like I want to resign," and finally the final moment I would lead to being unsatisfied with where I am in life with my job, my dreams, and my musical goals. God just kept singing this song in my heart to tell me, faith is where my true being would know how to feel free and learn to accept myself and how he made me. 

I often picked myself up with the words, "Well, I gotta have faith in myself," and dust off the darkness. These blessed words which spoke volumes in times of my own silence, could not resist this constant spirit repeating, telling me, and reminding me the importance of staying consistent and committed to my path. 

Now to simply have faith is often never enough. God will truly not let us down and make things happen without our knowledge. Application is the final step. God arranged the opportunities for me and as I've heard and I'm paraphrasing, "God can only show you the door, it's up to you to walk through it." The important baby steps were going to be walked by me for years and I would tell myself that it would take hard work, discipline and teaching to understand God and my purpose. With faith I believed that the only way I could ever truly be a spirited vessel, was by allowing God to take control of my instrument for His message. 

So give yourself, like I did with this song, a button on your digital, spiritual, and/or emotional soul to grant permission to have faith every moment you live under God's roof on Earth. He'll grant you the people to support and encourage you. Give you the tools to use in your life. Remember: it's going to be up to you to use them for His word to share with others. You just gotta have faith!

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